Grooms Wedding Speech - Humorous, but Not Offensive -- Wedding Toasts

Grooms Wedding Speech - Humorous, moreover not OffensiveLadies and gentlemen, you are ab give away to witness a unique exit in history - the very first and last time that my married woman is going to let me speak on behalf of both of us. It is a favor and an honor to do so. I just hope that, so short into our married life, I dont let her down.Today has so far-offthermost been a day beyond my wildest dreams. As a child, dreaming of my wedding day, I never dared imagine that I would end up marrying someone so intelligent, so witty, so popular, so gorgeous, and so altogether fantastic... (To his wife) Is this O.K. so far?Ladies and gentlemen, it is apparently my job to do all the conveyyous. The first and biggest give thanksyou is to all of you. thank you all for choosing to share today with us. We are delighted and touched to check into so many of you here. And thank you, of course, for all the wonderful gifts. The father of the bride, on the other hand, who is picking up the bill for dinner, is completely distraught. When he apothegm the guest list with addresses in Ireland, Egypt, the U.S.A., Scotland, as well as the quaternion corners of England, he was delighted, since he felt sure that most of you wouldnt make the try to turn up. Its to his credit that during his speech you would never have guessed he is in fact a broke, or rather a broken, man.On the display case of his speech Id like to thank him for his kind words. I hope that, as his daughters husband, I can live up to the figure he painted of me or, failing that, at least continue to support pulling the wool over his eyesWe would also like to thank my wifes parents for all their social movements in organizing today. Their support has been invaluable, advice sound, and check-book largely available. Id pe... ...he end and I recognize that whatever the future holds well live it happily together.Of course this doesnt explain wherefore it has taken us so long to get married. Well, ou t(a)side church service today, I was talking to one of her friends and she told me that, according to my wife, its all about maturity. She had asked my wife wherefore we were getting married now, after all this time, and her response was this... workforce are like a fine wine. They all start out as grapes. Its our job to stamp on them and then proceed them in the dark until they mature into something youd like to have dinner with...It is my unfading good fortune that my wifes taste in wine is cheap, unrefined, and immature.Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you once more for being here today, for the wonderful gifts, for your good wishes and most of all for your intimacy now and in the future. Heres to a wonderful evening. Grooms Wedding Speech - Humorous, but not Offensive -- Wedding ToastsGrooms Wedding Speech - Humorous, but Not OffensiveLadies and gentlemen, you are about to witness a unique offspring in history - the very first and last time that my wife is goin g to let me speak on behalf of both of us. It is a countenance and an honor to do so. I just hope that, so in brief into our married life, I dont let her down.Today has so far been a day beyond my wildest dreams. As a child, dreaming of my wedding day, I never dared imagine that I would end up marrying someone so intelligent, so witty, so popular, so gorgeous, and so altogether fantastic... (To his wife) Is this O.K. so far?Ladies and gentlemen, it is apparently my job to do all the thankyous. The first and biggest thankyou is to all of you. give thanks you all for choosing to share today with us. We are delighted and touched to study so many of you here. And thank you, of course, for all the wonderful gifts. The father of the bride, on the other hand, who is picking up the bill for dinner, is completely distraught. When he cut the guest list with addresses in Ireland, Egypt, the U.S.A., Scotland, as well as the quartette corners of England, he was delighted, since he felt sur e that most of you wouldnt make the effort to turn up. Its to his credit that during his speech you would never have guessed he is in fact a broke, or rather a broken, man.On the caseful of his speech Id like to thank him for his kind words. I hope that, as his daughters husband, I can live up to the ascertain he painted of me or, failing that, at least continue to cargo hold pulling the wool over his eyesWe would also like to thank my wifes parents for all their efforts in organizing today. Their support has been invaluable, advice sound, and check-book largely available. Id pe... ...he end and I populate that whatever the future holds well live it happily together.Of course this doesnt explain why it has taken us so long to get married. Well, outside church today, I was talking to one of her friends and she told me that, according to my wife, its all about maturity. She had asked my wife why we were getting married now, after all this time, and her response was this... hand s are like a fine wine. They all start out as grapes. Its our job to stamp on them and then forbear them in the dark until they mature into something youd like to have dinner with...It is my everlasting good fortune that my wifes taste in wine is cheap, unrefined, and immature.Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you over again for being here today, for the wonderful gifts, for your good wishes and most of all for your friendly relationship now and in the future. Heres to a wonderful evening.